Sunday, December 2, 2012

Into the Manosphere

    I was flattered and I was too young to have learned to say no to a woman. (Few men, I may add, learn this until they are too old to make it of any consequence to a woman what they say.)
So wrote W. Somerset Maugham in "The Luncheon," one of the master's best stories, but he was - ahem! - not that interested in the opposite sex, so what did he really know? And having lived fifteen years in the Far East, in a still functionally normal society, and being married a non-Westerner, I have been able to learn a thing or two before I have become "too old to make it of any consequence to a woman what [I] say," although it has not been by any means easy.

The Manosphere, which I stupidly dismissed when I first learned of it, would have made the deprogramming much easier. Sites recommended to me have been Alpha Game, Chateau Heartiste, Dalrock, Hawaiian libertarian, and The Spearhead, and I have enjoyed all of them. I think I may have something to add to the conversation.

The Woman and the Dragon, whose "Sunshine Mary" was kind enough to leave a message when I linked to her yesterday, though technically not a manospheric blogger but an ally, was another eye-opener. (Particularly enlightening was this post — Exposed: Christian men giving each other horrible sex advice.) There, one can read about the absurdity of "women holding out on their husbands and husbands having no idea what to do about it."

I've heard of this before, even recently from a friend who has suffered through a decade of such nonsense, but had no idea how prevalent it was in our society. Such a notion would just never cross my wife's mind. Our relationship is by no means perfect, but I might be able to offer some wisdom from the East for my Western brothers.

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5 Comments:

OpenID thewomanandthedragon said...

As Christians, some sites in the manosphere may dispense advice that we must ignore because it is immoral; however, it is still quite instructive in terms of understanding what is happening in the world around us. In general, Dalrock and Hawaiian Libertarian are quite Christian-friendly.

Of course, as a woman blogger, I do not consider myself a manospherian but rather a Christian anti-feminist. Sexual refusal is a serious problem in Christian marriage today; the site The Marriage Bed has forums with hundreds of threads for sexually-refused spouses (usually husbands). Part of the point of my humble blog is to point out where the dominant social model (female dominant) has crept into Christian marriage and to exhort women to return to following the Biblical marriage hierarchy, with men as the head of the home.

Thank you again for linking to my site. God bless!
-sunshinemary

December 2, 2012 at 8:50 PM  
Blogger Iosue Andreas Sartorius said...

Wow, you're fast! I'll add some clarification to note that I do not consider you a Manospheric blogger, but an ally.

December 2, 2012 at 9:02 PM  
Blogger papabear said...

Looking forward to reading some more of your insights.

December 3, 2012 at 12:12 AM  
OpenID bonald said...

Hello PP,

I'm sorry to hear about your conversion. I suppose now you'll be endorsing the manosphere's hostility toward social conservatives ("SoCons" and "TradCons" as they call us, always in insult)? Many of the sites you mention are very good (I check out Dalrock and Sunshine Mary every day), but they're very hostile to my brand of conservatism, and they make sure everybody knows it.

December 4, 2012 at 2:17 PM  
Blogger Iosue Andreas Sartorius said...

Greetings Bonald,

No conversion experience here, just venturing into some new territory inhabited by both the good and misguided, like just about everywhere else. I've never been about ideological purity, which is why I read CounterPunch everyday, even though some truly horrifying beliefs are found there.

December 4, 2012 at 8:37 PM  

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